Dreaming...

The best part about being a kid is the innocence that your brain only knows, for example believing in Santa brought so much anticipation and joy on Christmas that you lose as an adult. For the past few months of my life, I've yearned for that innocence to come back. When I didn't see black or white, and didn't have to experience being a "Black woman" in a racist white man's world, when I had no idea what violence was, and when people cared honestly cared.



You dream of so much as a child, what you want to be, who you want to marry, where you want to live, and how much money you will make. However, when you wake up you don't realize that those dreams might only be just that... Dreams....



My mom use to tell me, "nobody is going to give you anything, you have to work for everything." I know that now and at 23 years old I know that hard work pays off. The problem I'm having is when does it actually pay off? Sometimes you want things to happen in your life that aren't meant for you, but you are blinded by your own dreams so you never realize, that God has something better.



Don't get me wrong for the last few months, all I could think was what can I do to make quick money to pay back the 85,000 I owe in college loans. How will my mother be able to afford $600 a month paying back my loans? Hasn't she done enough? I feel bad, because it's nothing I can do or so I thought. I gave up on just trying to be rich, be on television, or invent the next big creation.



And started to realize, I could make a difference, I'm a writer I can inspire people through words, I can write books, own magazines, I can stop dreaming and make it a reality. I can complain about my innocence being gone, but then I won't be able to appreciate my eyes being opened. I haven't lost my innocence I lost my way, I thought that being somebody meant being famous, but I'm somebody and to a lot of people I'm somebody great!



To my family and friends I made it, I graduated college. It was myself who felt that wasn't enough, because if I settle for just that then my innocence being gone has only made me scared to see the real world for what it's worth. Although, at times I feel unaccomplished, discrimnated against, and forced to be somebody.



I didn't get where I'am following anyone's foot steps because then you have to walk with your head down....



Don't worry see the best thing about dreams are they inspire you, so sometimes I have to sleep. But when I wake up, you better watch out. See I've been fighting all my life, because I was and looked different but I fought and that's what matters. Everyone has a story either you can tell it or keep it a secret and shame the world of finding out how you overcame.



At night I have to face myself in the mirror, and that's it. So if I try and fail then I can look that same face in the mirror and say< "get up girl, you better dust that butt off and keep it moving." I've made it from the bottom and although the top isn't far I can't get comfortable now because the bottom is never that far from the top.

Why?

If you can't be real with yourself, then who can you be real with? As a journalist, it's your job to be as real as possible. In 2010 a lot happened, a lot changed, and history was made yet again. There are several things I want to address. After going over many questions in my head, I decided to ask..

Why was Micheal Vick ripped to shreds for dog-fighting? When Ben Roethlisberger rapped yet another girl again this year, and he sat out two games. In my opinion, Vick took all his wrongs and made them right. He showed the world the type of individuals the 'ghetto" raised... Survivors.

Barack Obama became the 1st black president in history on paper, the 2 nd black president in history. It's honestly not that Obama is doing a bad job, he's just black and that's bad enough. How can you expect a human to fix all the wrongs in one term. You don't, but because he's black this is his only shot.

I can continue to be real right?

Why do we allow our daugther's to believe what Kim Kardashian does is right? Is the only way to stardom literally on the bottom; on your back? How many times will we show her chasing a new athlete?

Why doesn't Pheadra just say that baby isn't her husbands... Enough Said...

Why have we stopped raising money for Haiti and New Orleans, yet we're raising money for PETA? Why are we fighting a war to save another country from what they believe? Who are we to strip someone of their Divine Rights and beliefs, because it doesn't seem right to us? Someone may think what we do in America isn't right, but their not over here bombing us. Why are we fighting to save others, whose going to save us?

Okay, stay with me...

Michael Phelps smoked some weed, never mind the fact that he's won 16 Olympic medals, and totally dominated the Olympics as well. He's young, young people smoke weed. he's human, let him live. He isn't cheating, taking steroids, or abusing women... He's swimming and smoking.

Miley Cyrus... drugs What did you expect' Disney turns sugar into shit every time they get their hands on a child star. it's not being a young celebrity they can't handle. it's the not being able to be young and make mistakes. Kids have to make mistakes to become adults.

Disney stop turning kids out...

Reggie Bush, by the way go get your Heisman Trophy back. Taking gifts has nothing to do with what you did on the field from pure talent. Most athletes have never experienced what stardom brings, if you give someone who started with nothing a gift, he's going to take it. Penalize the people giving the gifts.

16 and Pregnant is not a chance at a reality show, it's a reality check. it shouldn't be flaunted around all over t.v. 16 year old girls sleeping at their parents house with 18 and up guys... it's sad, pitiful, and a shame. Just be real about life after having a baby at 16. Then you show, "Teen Mom". I know a 16 year old girl whose story after having a baby is nothing like what MTV shows.

So let's reward you with stardom and interviews for having a baby at 16.

And why are Terrance and Rosci still hosting 106 and park? BET, I'll wait for an answer...

Oprah honestly, do you like being black?

Kim house wife of Atlanta stop singing please, and dancing. Khandi, how dare you allow her to make a mockery of you and the art.

Nancy Grace and Monique stop yelling at the camera. Monique get a mic, it's hard to watch your show because you yell too damn much, Nancy stop trying people in the court of public opinion.

Wendy Williams is a mess, she reads off her cue cards, doesn't have good speaking skills, and you as viewers embrace and entertain ignorance.

Why do we pay taxes on cars that are paid in full? If I pay my car payment, plus taxes, then when my car becomes paid off, why am I still paying taxes? It's paid for.

Why are teachers allowed to degrade children using words that they can't understand?

When did we become such a violent society' Martin Luther King Jr and Gandhi fought without violence. However, we as a society solve every issue that way. War is the prime example.

As blacks we are not free, we are told we can have one month to celebrate a lifetime of achievements. If BET stands for Black Entertainment Television, why are they becoming MTV Part 2?

Why should someone who doesn't have kids get majority of their check taken? Yes, you get it back, but why should someone who chose not to have kids pay for the government to take care of lazy women who have kids, but don't want to work. The system...

Macy's department store in 2011, stop following black people around your store. racist asses.